Introducing the Ceannic incarnations of George Burns and Gracie Allen! For a user-friendly intro to their excellence, check out recommended episodes from their TV show, and/or choice downloads from the radio program. Most of these jokes are adapted from that time Gracie ran for President in the 1940 election.
In-universe, Grassie’s bid for President of Ceannis was 24 years ago. It’s been re-run during every election cycle since then, to excellent ratings.
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Hedge: You, Grassie, are running for President of Ceannis?
Grassie: That’s right!
. . . and Getsun.
Hedge: “And Getsun”?
Grassie: Oh, sure! It’s just across the water from Burnspoint here, so they won’t have to travel far to vote for me.
Hedge: Expecting any votes from Sønheim?
Grassie: Well, you know how they have a lot of landslides in the mountains?
Hedge: I suppose so . . .
Grassie: Then I’ll win it in a landslide! Have a campaign button. I designed them myself.
Hedge: No pin . . . ?
Grassie: You have to sew it on! That way you can’t change your mind in the middle of the campaign.
Hedge: Grassie, do you have any idea what a person needs in order to become President?
Grassie: Sure, they need to be elected!
Hedge: It takes a person of tremendous stamina. Rare ability, sound judgment. A mental genius!
Grassie: Aw, thanks.
Hedge: A president has to have courage — to show plenty of backbone!
Grassie: If you want to see backbone, wait until you see my new evening dress.
Hedge: You have to be a leader! People have to want to get behind you!
Grassie: Well, wait until you see my new evening dress.
Hedge: You have to have determination, to let people see what you’re made of —
Hedge & Grassie: . . .
Hedge: All right, let me see your new evening dress. Say good night, Grassie.
Grassie: Good night!