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Crystagram Influencer Kallie

Crystagram Influencer Kallie published on 9 Comments on Crystagram Influencer Kallie

A strip back in January 2020 mentioned that Kallie was an influencer, which means eventually I was going to have to spend some time researching “how do people pitch makeup on the internet?” just a cute low-stress everyday look

Kallie (video subtitles): Hello, my lovelies! It’s your girl Kallie, with more hot makeup tips for Tamaputians living in Ceannis

This foundation is an absolute fave, I’m so happy to have them as a sponsor for today’s video

Protip: it’s the reason nobody can tell my big sister has crow’s feet

So the Tamaputian-sized lipstick options on shelves in Ceannis are all pretty tacky, am I right?

And my kid sister settles – but thanks to a new crowdfunded gadget, now we don’t have to!

I’ll show you how to use this little wonder as an applicator for any giant shade you want


Kiki: Tacky?! Kallie thinks I’m TACKY?

Atarangi: What do you mean, I have crow’s feet? You’re doing physical makeup! On the physical body! It has crow’s feet for all of us!

Kallie: Okay, Atarangi, I’m the one making 2,000 crowns for this video, so how about you let me handle the script?

Sandy: Seriously, this is how body stuff goes? And they wonder why I stay out of it.

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“It’s the reason no one can tell my sister has crow’s feet”

“It has crow’s feet for all of us!”

I mean, it’s not like Kallie was lying, Atarangi, she was just… you know, leaving the fact that it means nobody can tell she has them, too!

Is this the first time we’ve heard Sandy talk…? No, wait, they had a few incidental lines back during the Kolpovision arcs. (I went back to verify their pronouns on the Tamaputian Height Chart from a few weeks ago, and their lack of being shown there makes a lot more sense if they stay out of “Body Stuff”!)

Also I would just like to reassure Kiki that her color choice looks great, especially with that dress and its very cute pattern!

Finally, it’s really cool to see adaptations and improvisations for Tamaputians with regards to making giant-scale items work for them, like the lipstick applicator and the use of wire to make a crystal stand.

Atarangi, calm down. Lots of people with physical big sisters would make the *same* claim, despite having crows feet themselves. And I’ve known at least one makeup artist who completely fabricated a big sister to make that same claim (as well as a few other similar claims), despite being the eldest child.

It basically translates to, “You can’t tell I have crows feet because I actually applied some of this before we started filming, despite my claim that I was starting from a completely clean face. And you know that cut that I did right at the end of the bit of the video that showed me washing my face? It was 80 minutes long, because I needed to get my setup makeup exactly right, so it’d hide all the flaws that I’m so embarrassed about, but have some flaws I don’t actually have so I’d look like I didn’t have makeup on. Also, I needed to double-check against my reference images to make sure I got those fake flaws exactly right because I need to be consistent between these videos or you’d figure it out.”

If you were paying attention, you’d have noticed that Kallie did all of that stuff.

So basically, influencers are the equivalent to those infomercials that I’d have to sit through as a kid before Animaniacs was on? That explains why Kallie annoys me…

The important difference is that nobody HAS TO watch influencers. It’s surprising so many still do, but on the other hands, there are genuine advertisements so good I watch them even when not caring about the product. Hmmm … wait, maybe not caring about the product helps.

Love the detail that they all look sibling-like in headspace but not exactly like the body. That IS what it’s like.


This is nice to hear because I worried I was making them look too similar in headspace. (But didn’t want to push it because of how comics work – if they’re too visually different, you don’t have easy ways to help readers connect, say, “headspace Kiki” with “outside POV of body as fronted by Kiki.”)

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