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Family Deserts 14/33

Family Deserts 14/33 published on 15 Comments on Family Deserts 14/33

The dialogue in that last panel isn’t “the thing Kale actually said” so much as “the information Tansy absorbed from it.”

Tansy: Seriously, is that someone at our door?

Larch: Uhhh . . .

Ollie: Larch! I can wait here all day, you know!

Tansy: Is that your father? How did your parents get our address?!

Larch: I swear I have no idea!

Tansy: What are we going to do?

Larch: They’ll get bored eventually! We can just stay inside until then, and we’ll be perfectly safe!

Kale: Hi, I’m a total stranger who just followed your special-needs child into your home.

Tansy: Eh? Ehhh?

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Kale…please just tell them that you’re with Thorn, and that he’s right outside.

Kale tends towards snark with strangers, from what I can tell, so it’s likely he’s just trying to alleviate tension.

You open the door, weapon in hand, and tell them that you have the right to defend yourself, your property, and your own life.

That wouldn’t really work if you don’t have courage to actually use that weapon and they know it.

(… the first text field is name, right? Because I don’t see the label now …)

You’d be surprised. Put a person in a corner, threaten them and theirs, you’ll face a fighter as dangerous as any soldier.

When up against a stranger, sure.

When up against someone you know and still love, in a way, even after all they’ve done? When up against someone you don’t want to hurt, even after they’ve hurt you so much?

… It’s a lot harder, then. And certainly not as satisfying as you would hope.

Maybe if it were someone else facing their abusive mother — maybe if Larch had found a way to move on from these feelings (which not everyone can do) — things would be different. But with things as they are, physical confrontation is not an option for him.

Fortunately, Larch has a wonderful brother-in-law who is willing and able to perform the physical confrontation in his stead.

Flyboy, I had to distance myself from my mother a few years ago. She went through some terrifying transformations of character. My husband and I agreed that she would not be allowed in our home. I stopped taking her calls. Our agreed- upon plan, should she arrive on our doorstep and demand to come in, was to call the police and have them escort her away.

She did not physically abuse me when I was growing up, but was passive-aggressive manipulative-controlling. So, years later when I was terrified of her coming to my door, I still loved her. I just couldn’t stand to be around her for awhile.

The point is, while you are correct on the one hand, it is one of the hardest things you will ever face to shut the doors on people you loved at one time. It is right to protect your family from unsafe, toxic people. However, when it is against people that a part of you still loves, it HURTS. Larch is clearly dealing with intense anxiety here, and if I had to guess, he probably has a lifetime of emotional trauma inflicted by manipulative parents. He CAN’T just threaten violence on them: there is a whole turmoil of conflicting emotions, childhood training (and thus, hard to break), and adult-reasoning to wade through. That is why, it is sometimes better to have a neutral party there to de-escalate the situation.

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