When I first started writing this reply, it was going to be very different. But I’ve thought through experiences people I’ve known have related to me. And one of those was rather similar to this one.

One of my cousins, once removed, got married to someone with abusive parents. She had a brother who she’d been close with, who had been instrumental in dealing with her boyfriend’s abusive parents for the entire time they were dating. Shortly after the marriage, Nam. Her brother signed up before the draft hit, because his sister and his new brother in law had gotten away from those people and were in a good situation, and he felt his country needed him more.

After Nam, he came back home. He was out of work for a bit, but then he was in the right place right time to save a bunch of people from a burning building, and he made the news, got his picture in the paper, interviewed by the local TV people, and somebody offered him a job because he was now local famous.

About a year later, his sister called him for help with her in-laws. He went over and started talking with the in-laws. They recognized him immediately – as the local hero, *NOT* as their daughter-in-law’s brother. I’m still blanking on exactly how he resolved the situation, but I recall him saying their lack of recognition helped significantly. It’s possible that they just left once they realized all of who he was.