Ø Is For Øverwritten 20/60

3 December, 2021 11 Comments

Please imagine Petal’s voice as “James Spader doing Alan Shore.”

…I feel like Sepal’s voice also has some direct inspirations, but none of the names are coming to mind.

Sepal: You think this guy is for real, huh, Petal?

Petal: “Real” is such a slippery word, Sepal. But I don’t think he’s more of a fraud than anyone else trying to impress a date.

Sepal: So . . . I should run him through with my heartsword, or no?

Petal: Not just yet. If that changes, I’ll let you know.

For now, our priority is keeping an eye on any passers-by who seem like they’d want Mr. Stavros to — oh, how did that last message so charmingly put it? — “choke on a toothbrush and die.”

Good news is, when it comes to magic threats, we’re in the clear! I did a few scans, and haven’t come up with any.

11 Comments

…Hm. This can only mean good things, I’m sure…

And for today’s lesson, we’re looking at why you shouldn’t put too much faith in any one way of detecting malicious intent.

…I’ve said worse to people I consider found family. I thought we were looking at actual active threats.

Context is everything.

“Why don’t you go die in a fire?” from a good friend = haha, I succeeeded in playfully annoying them!
“Why don’t you go die in a fire?” from an acquaintance = holy fucking shit, they must be super pissed and I’m going to start either yelling or crying
“Why don’t you go die in a fire?” from a stranger = ALARM BELLS ALARM BELLS DEFUSE THE SITUATION AND GET AWAY
“Why don’t you go die in a fire?” from a stalker who has previously made OTHER threats*? …Yeah, that’s a different story.

*which may well have been higher up the threat index than ‘choke on a toothbrush’, thereby elevating THIS threat’s seriousness as well

(Also, the specificity makes me wonder if the letter followed the airing of an episode where someone choked on a toothbrush and died. It seems like the kind of zinger you might use on a writer. ‘I hope you die like this thing you wrote’ definitely carries it’s own weight of uh-ohness.)