Kale: Okay, Niamh, let’s do another of these “uplifting guided meditation” links my therapist sent me.
They don’t address a lot of the specific, uniquely screwed-up, events in my life . . . But it turns out, my feelings are all still general, pre-existing human emotions. Who knew, right?
Tape: Picture a time in your life when you felt loved . . .
Kale (thinking): I’m nine, and just got in trouble at school for how I reacted to a hallucination.
Granddad gives the staff such a chewing-out. Grandpa hugs me and tells me it’s not my fault. And no matter what happens, he’s there for me.
. . . and then they both got too frail and confused to even notice if I needed help and my sister had gone full-blown addict so I was caring for them all by myself and
Kale: Nnnnnope! Next track, please!
Tape: Picture the time in your life when you were happiest . . .
Kale (thinking): I’m 25, 26? It’s just me and my nibling now — but we have a stable home. And their health is the best it ever got.
I have what I think is a wonderful job. My powers are flourishing, now that I don’t have to hide them. I’m not afraid of anything anymore.
. . . and then Calyx died and it turned out my “great job” was 100% abusing people and my crush was a spy on assignment to investigate the company which was run by malicious scammers the whole time and
Therapist: No, you’re still not having unique emotions that I’ve never seen in any of my other patients. If the meditation didn’t work for you, all that means is that I likely shouldn’t recommend it to most of them, either.
Kale: Well it did not work for me.