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Slow News Day: After Northwind

Slow News Day: After Northwind published on 7 Comments on Slow News Day: After Northwind

Didn’t have a bunch of pre-established minor characters who were Northwind employees/Montmere residents…so this strip is 100% homages to other series. Can we ID them all?


Bennet: Now that the surviving management of Northwind Prismaceuticals is in Jail For One Thousand Years, we visited Montmere to talk to some former employees — in every department and subsidiary of the company — about how much better their lives are now!

Sales Agent: I feel so bad that I pushed “spelltech is the only way to treat any medical issue.” Now that I’m free, I run my own small business! And I sell potions to treat any medical issue.

Med Tech Programmer: I got talked into cutting off my old friends when they criticized Northwind . . . but when I apologized, they forgave me! It’s great to be talking to them again.

Caller: She’s supposed to be talking to us right now . . .

Security Officer: You know, I thought something was up with them? But I was sure if I told anyone — even my wife! — it’d go right up to management, and I’d be out of a job.

Orthopedic Surgeon: Obviously I had my own suspicions! But I was afraid she would report them to my supervisor.

Security Officer: “Not being super paranoid all the time” is seriously underrated, you know?

Politician: I was not an “employee” of Northwind! I only gave them legal and political cover at every turn because I was brainwashed by Kudzu! Yeah! So will you just re-elect me, already?

Personal Assistant: I mean, Northwind basically killed my parents, by convincing us all not to get them treatment which, turns out, they actually needed . . . But my boyfriend was killed in the Magical Kudzu situation, so it pretty much sucks for me either way.

Therapist: They called me mad, can you believe it? Well, I showed them! I showed them all!

Bennet: And what did you do for Northwind?

Therapist: Nothing — I’m a psychiatrist! Got my degree and moved to Montmere when everyone here thought “if a med crystal can’t help your mental health struggles, nothing can.” Since the mass reveal that Northwind made that up, I have spent years booked solid with all the locals who need therapy!

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