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The Commitment 2/40

The Commitment 2/40 published on 10 Comments on The Commitment 2/40

Quick behind-the-scenes update for Patreon supporters: the layout model I made for Hermosa’s room.

Hermosa (thinking): I remember being undercover in Montmere, looking into Northwind Prismaceuticals . . . Trying to flip one of their top assets. But how I got from there to here . . . it’s all a blur.

Northwind must’ve caught me. They did something to my memory. And to the rest of me.

I don’t even remember getting this haircut . . . Let alone when I started needing prosthetic eyes!

At least there are spirits here — so I know it’s still South of the Mountains. If they had managed to drag me off to Sønheim, the prison wouldn’t be nearly this nice.

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Looking like HM had the right call. Having your eyes burned out of your skull is presumably something one very much remembers.

Oh, this is probably a flashback to when he started his recovery. That makes some sense. He has a good reason to know why he’s not in his own home, otherwise. Unless he is still being affected by residual memories and other side effects from the incident, but I doubt it’s significant enough to give him a loss of memory about his wife running off to attack someone who’s crimes were primarily done as an ignorant child.

Pas: Dex — You know, sometimes, he has —
Hermosa: I know I’m fuzzy on a lot now

So what they were referring to is some kind of amnesia. Moments of rather clear memory and times when he draws a blank. Is this a thing?

It’s absolutely a thing.

I think most people who experience it naturally generally just do so as the first few moments of waking from a dream, but there are certainly some with PTSD who experience it for a longer period of time even without drugs. I have certainly experienced it for brief periods after waking up from various particularly vivid dreams.

It’s also possible to have an extended episode under certain drugs. That said, I’m not aware of any that definitely trigger this sort of thing for everyone. It’s possible that one would first need to be conditioned to have such a moment in your life, a period of time you think back to fairly obsessively.

I have talked with someone who claimed to be familiar with such a drug, which they took recreationally with the hopes of having such a flashback, but they instead just entered a generic fugue state in which they couldn’t even remember the person they were wanting to have a flashback to being with.

Personally, I can’t imagine wanting to take a drug to intentionally do this to oneself if one had experience with it. I mean, sure, I remembered some stuff more vividly than I otherwise could have been. But my former associate I mentioned above seemed to be under the impression they’d think *she* was still around, and it’s been my experience that the most coherent thought is the focus of the fugue state is *not* around, without explanation as to why. It’s possibly the loneliest feeling I’ve felt. Zero stars, would absolutely not recommend.

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